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Identify What You Value

The Struggle Is Real

I have had my share of an eye to eye-across the table meetings with men who struggle to identify what they believe to be important. At the very least, identifying the code of conduct by which they live, think and pattern their lives after. Here’s the choke point. Core values hold us to a steady and straightforward path, living well, living healthy, living pure and true.

Men, strong courageous and wise, make life’s decisions by their core values, the moral code, by which they live deciding the issues of their lives. 


“He is like a tree planted by flowing streams;
it yields its fruit at the proper time,
and its leaves never fall off.
He succeeds in everything he attempts.”  Psalm 1:3,4

Living life without CVs is like building your families dream home on a sandy beach instead of on a hillside of firm ground underpinned by solid stone wedged deep into the earth. Sound foolish? That’s the equivalent to living with no CVs. So then, there are four options: ‘go with the flow,’ ‘go against the grain,’ ‘fly by the seat of your pants,’ “develop your CVs and live them out.’

Go with the flow.

Years ago, I along with my family, had the privilege to conduct youth camps in the mountains of western North Carolina. So the highlight activity was white water rafting down the Nantahala River. There were rapids in the river. Just enough to make you think that you are going to make the navigation just fine with no conflict. Then, suddenly, rapids that completely upset confidence and calm of the raft you captain. Life is full of unexpected repids. CVs are the strong navigational skills and strategies we must have to succeed.

Go against the grain.

Men, we face life one of two ways. We have the proper knowledge to proceed well with success.  Or we experience the loss of making bad decisions. The difference is this. Cvs create filtering system of wisdom and knowledge predetermining future choices.

Fly by the seat of your pants.

At Disney, there is a ride called “The Rockin’ Roller Coaster.” It features the music of Aerosmith. In 2.8 seconds, 0-57 mph. Not being prepared for extreme acceleration will rattle a guys teeth and shake up his bone bag. That’s a quick take off and that’s what by the seat of your pants means. It’s sometimes fun but unexpected; it will mess with you.

The How-To’s For Lining Out CVs

  1. Make space in your schedule. You have to start somewhere. Carve out some time and begin processing what’s important to you, the things that you believe to be important that will form your life and your families.
  2. Find an uninterruptable place. Most of the time it is impossible for a husband and father to find uninterruptable space. You might have to hide out somewhere. We can hear God and our heart better in quiet places focusing with no interruption.
  3. Gather your recording stuff. However, you record, journaling, digital, legal pad matters not. Get what you’re comfortable with and then begin to record what comes to you and fine tune and distill.
  4. First blink. What’re your most important values that guide your life? Record what first comes to mind. Distill and refine later. Trust the process.
  5. Pick 5-7. In the initial process, write as many and as much as you can. As you refine and distill, narrow down to five to seven. Keep your process simple and minimal. It’s a process and takes time broken up in different sessions.

This is the time to be who you are, embrace and enjoy it.

Here is a suggested jump start list from PsychologyToday.com  

Authenticity,  Adventure, Balance, Bravery, Compassion, Challenge, Citizenship, Community, Creativity, Curiosity, Determination, Fairness, Freedom, Friendships, Fun, Generosity, Growth, Honesty, Influence,            Justice, Kindness, Knowledge, Leadership, Learning, Love, Loyalty, Openness, Optimism, Recognition, Respect, Responsibility, Security, Self-Respect, Social-Connection, Spirituality, Stability, Status, Wealth, Wisdom

#Purpose #Identity #Sonship

#corevalues #livestrong #livesure #livepure

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