18Dec/18

Making Peace

One of the elements of Advent is the coming of peace in the person and work of the Lord Jesus Christ

Cultures and communities have their definitions of peace formed and fabricated over time through war, negotiated by leaders and, redefined by grassroots people, established by religious leaders and customs while others have been cast and branded by traditions. So do broken families.

Like love, peace carries with it very conditionally restrictive requirements for the ability to possess it. Some forms are found through consumed substances making it momentary, cursory types creating even more desirable in the heart of a person. Forever chipping away and then burying families. Stop the madness.   

Clarification Needed 

Here’s the cry for a peace seeker. What and who ultimately sets in order the pathway to peace? There’s only one source for peace: Jesus Christ, the one from Nazareth. Make your best efforts asking God (the Father) for assistance and wisdom and, the ways and means to pull off peaceful, loving family gatherings this season.Becuase many family gatherings will be a rehearsal of Christmas’ past, absent, frustrated, hurtful, more damaging than the last. All the more, most, more than not, really desiring peace and love. 


 
   “For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us;
   And the government will rest on His shoulders;
   And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
   Eternal Father, Prince of Peace” Isaiah 9:6.

You Be The Man 

You are the possessor of peace this Christmas in and with your family. You bring it for them. You be the thermostat and not the thermometer. Without it, Christmas will be another rehearsal that over time forms tradition and legacy detracting from genuine peace and love Christmas celebrates. 

Without peace, the love of Jesus Christ will never be seen or understood. 

Here’s How

  • listen with your eyes and your ears, not your words
  • wait 3 seconds before you respond
  • speak only life and peace like the Prince of peace
  • watch what happens 

#Purpose  #Identity  #Sonship

#Princeofpeace  #youbetheman

#rememberthefatherless

10Dec/18

Making Room

Advent Week 2 

During the Christmas Season, one of the most popular family traditions for many is to decorate the spaces where they live to celebrate the season.  Lights, ornaments, trees, wreaths, and all sorts of displays that point to Christmas, the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, Savior, and King.  

So what does a man decorate a decluttered empty heart with? How does he replenish empty spaces with the proper, meaningful elements for the season’s celebration and his life’s balance?  

Advent’s purpose is the preparation for the coming of Christ Jesus. First, coming as a baby to live as a man, then die for us as Savior. Second, He comes into our lives to live in us and through us. And last, He will come as Judge and King.

Refill With The Right Stuff

  • hope – is the knowing without a doubt that who we place our trust in is sure and true – Jesus Christ is our hope 
  • peace –  to be complete or to be sound conveying both a dynamic and a static meaning; to be complete or whole or to live well – Jesus Christ is our peace 
  • joy – it is not happiness, but an emotion that generates from the relationship we have with the Lord – Jesus Christ is our joy 
  • love – the love of God dwells in His children because of their relationship with Christ – Jesus Christ is love 

#advent   #Purpose  #Identity  #Sonship

#rememberthefatherless

04Dec/18

Marking The Spot

Advent / Week 1

Here’s the way the story stacks up, wraps around and builds upon itself.

We most all have heard the story told of the baby Jesus, born in a manger, in Bethlehem because of the local inn being completely full. No compassion for a woman ready to give birth, literally, after riding days to reach the city on the back of a donkey. The title pic is what we might have seen, Jesus, born in a manger in a cave under the inn. images-131

This is the actual spot where the manger was located.  And over the years, after an archeological dig, research along with religious and theological validations proving, in fact, this was the sight of Jesus’ birth. And to protect of history and such a prominent religious, rightfully so, this is what the same spot looks like today…..

That birthplace spot is a very significant place in the world to many people for many reasons religious and otherwise. No matter, something happened here. An event that has changed human history more spectacularly than only creation itself.  Now, there’s a more stunning part of the story’s plot. This is the very location that earth received its Creator-King.

At the time of creation, God created a place in each person’s heart designated only for Jesus, King, and singular Son of God to dwell. We happen to be earth-suited souls that are specific and particular to contain Jesus Christ, Him living through us.

Declutter Your Manger

My heart and yours is a manger of sorts. Now it’s a special place, the center of who we are, what we do, and how we do what we do. They can be a dirty place full of waste and debris that happens to be a part of life that needs regular cleaning and maintenance, upkeep and cleaning. Decluttering refocuses what beauty that lies before us redefining our future.

  • Identification. Take inventory of the contents of your heart. What are the items, people and relationships that occupy the King’s place?
  • De-hoard. Oversimplified, hoarding is holding on to things we just don’t need that we’ve attached emotional worth too. Set your mind, will, and emotions on what is eternal. The King.
  • Removal and disposal. Once identified for r&d, don’t look back and don’t second guess. Create more space for. the King. (P.S. There are only some things that He removes when He arrives.) 
  • Repossession. Giving back to the rightful owner brings peaceful, restful, relief.

 

Isaiah 9:2-7

The people walking in darkness
see a bright light;
light shines
on those who live in a land of deep darkness.
You have enlarged the nation;
you give them great joy.
They rejoice in your presence
as harvesters rejoice;
as warriors celebrate when they divide up the plunder.
For their oppressive yoke
and the club that strikes their shoulders,
the cudgel the oppressor uses on them,
you have shattered, as in the day of Midian’s defeat.
Indeed every boot that marches and shakes the earth
and every garment dragged through blood
is used as fuel for the fire.
For a child has been born to us,
a son has been given to us.
He shoulders responsibility
and is called:
Extraordinary Strategist,
Mighty God,
Everlasting Father,
Prince of Peace.
His dominion will be vast
and he will bring immeasurable prosperity.
He will rule on David’s throne
and over David’s kingdom,
establishing it and strengthening it
by promoting justice and fairness,
from this time forward and forevermore.
The Lord’s intense devotion to his people will accomplish this.

 

#Purpose   #Identity   #Sonship 

#houseoftheKING

#rememberthefatherless

01Dec/18

This Christmas

There’s something significantly special about Christmas for most everyone. Surfacing at the end of the year, coming at the right time for the gathering of all the thirsty sojourners for a peaceful gathering celebrating love, hope and the practice of generosity to family and loved ones. Together, we refocus looking into a new year, waiting to present itself.

As years have passed since the first Christmas, a cocoon has formed about the purpose of God (Jehovah) coming in form of His creation making way for them each to become sons of His very ownChristmas then becomes for us a time of cutting away then self-emptying of what it now is defined and packaged by culture, traditional providenced for economic growth, the pressure to give the best gift to others, and sadly greed for the collection of things that will be soon forgotten.

This Christmas

  • Father. Well, first, if your fatherless, this is probably a very difficult time of year for you. But for a moment, consider that the Father in Heaven designed this season once a year to investigate Him experiencing the fullness and joy of who He truly happens to be. Difficult, yes. Possible though, it is.
  • Faith. No faith? Perfect! This is the best time of year to explore or to strengthen what you do have or not. How? If none, or some, ask, “why would God send His Son”?  Pretty simple, He loves you regardless of performance, feelings or doubt.
  • Family. Treasure what you have, for you are the leader and the steward of these gifts. Perhaps you may not understand or feel that at the moment, refocus and look at them with different lenses seeing them as there best.
  • Friends. Good friends make life’s journey more rewarding and in difficult times, more tolerable. Close friends become extensions of your very own family. Together is much better than alone.

 

Luke 2:4-7

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a Son. She wrapped Him in cloths and placed Him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

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#Purpose  #Identity  #Sonship

#Father  #Faith  #Family  #Friends 

#rememberthefatherless

#advent 

 

 

 

Merry Christmas

Barry

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

28Nov/18

decide

decide – come to a resolution in mind as a result of consideration

Decision making at best brings freedom and empowerment keeping forward-moving momentum. At worst, an enigma that creates a static containment field of frustrating, annoying tension causing angst to flourish. Indecision flusters a guys confidence.

Decisions present themselves various directions, quantities, types, and weight, ranging in difficulty and magnitude. Most experienced fathers would say there are no simple decisions when gaging the future impact of one. As a man and a father, they pave future pathways for both us and our family’s future and destinies, regardless of the quality of the decision.

Fronting up on each father is the challenge of becoming a professional decision maker.

Every Pro has been a Rookie first. Rookie dues Dad. Making decisions for ourselves is one thing costing only ourselves. But when we include a family and their lives, it becomes more costly than ever. Be a wise Rookie and listen to your Coach and other great Pros.

Pro Decision Making 

  1. Don’t over-analyze. Over analyzation what’s before can create unnecessary static tension in our minds and hearts.  Not needed when we face the big ones. Clear heads always prevail.
  2. Have a game plan. Know the pathway for accomplishing the win that’ s before you.  What’s the immediate challenge ahead? What resources are going to be required to fill out my plan? Is the strategy well thought out? How am I going to implement the elements of the plan for the best result possible?
  3. Seamless as possible. Rare are the decisions that go off seamless. That’s the goal though. Connect the pieces well with both good communication and clarity on expectation.
  4. Decisions make up who we are becoming. Whether good, bad, or indifferent, what and how we decide directly effects our character, influence, and success in our lives and the lives of family and friends.
  5. Own it. Celebrate the wins. In decision making, the celebration is most important. It encourages you and all those who are affected by it. And when the bad ones come, embrace and learn. Bad decisions require of us a review, recalibration, and course correction. Both make all the difference. P.S. Bad decisions decrease over time.

 

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#Purpose #Identity #Sonship 

#imakewisedecisions #prodecisionmaker  #leadwell  #grow

21Nov/18

Giving Thanks

Here in this country, we have seasons of celebration. Many family traditions embrace the seasonal holiday of Thanksgiving.

The short historical version of the holiday consists of successful harvests (Plymouth, 1620), to remember the widows and orphans of war (Civil War, Abraham Lincoln), and (Franklin D. Roosevelt, President of the U.S., Great Depression) attempting to boost the economy during the Depression.

So, distilling all his down, it’s not just about a turkey, holidays and harvesting or increasing the economy, or even football. Thanksgiving is indeed about giving thanks.

Who do I thank? What am I thankful for? How do I give thanks?

Who

  1. Your provider. Ultimately, who is the source from which all the provisions, possessions, protections, and people we have in our lives?
  2. Your faith. The one who we put our complete trust in caring for us, leading our families and us through this life is the one that we can place “our faith.” The one who we believe can bring out the best in our families and us guiding us faithfully all the way.
  3. There is only One. God, Jehovah, Creator of the heavens and the earth. He is the only one, faithful and true — the faithful One with the all-encompassing, complete source of love, care, and oversight of our lives.

What

  1. Provisions. Our Heavenly Father has faithfully, by covenant with His children, promised to be the life-time Provider. He will not fail us. He is a faithful Father.
  2. Possessions. Homes, jobs, savings, vehicles, clothing, food, and all external requirements of this life. Everything.
  3. Protections. 2 Thessalonians 3:3 But the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one. Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
  4. People. Granted, we don’t always desire to give thanks for some. However, we have so many to be thankful for because of their part and influence in our lives.

How 

  1. Create grateful moments. Of course in small or large group family gatherings but especially individuals.
  2. Give public thanks. Make a comfortable opportunity to be grateful for all family and friends.
  3. Allow others the opportunity to be thankful. Share when you gather together before taking your meal. Hearing the gratefulness of others encourages love.
  4. Encourage forgiveness. Unforgiveness suppresses and dilutes thankfulness. Create moments to allow people the chance to consider the opportunity of giving forgiveness.
  5. Offer a Thanksgiving prayer together before taking your meal. Here are some ideas for the Thanksgiving prayer. Have one person pray for the people, the food, and the opportunity of being together. Allow each person the opportunity to offer a Thanksgiving prayer individually. Gather together in smaller groups giving thanks for food and each other.

#Purpose  #Identity  #Sonship 

#makingtradition  #establishinglegacy 

13Nov/18

​​Veteran Gratitude

Veteran’s Day is for remembrance of great Americans. One’s who serve presently and those who have served us in the past. Extraordinary people, who will almost to the man or women tell you, “He or She is no hero, but they know some” are all incredible people, faithful, steadfast, determined and do not know the words ‘quit, give up, or there’s no way.’ The words I have located that describe them follow.

Romans 13:4 “For he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer.”

Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Psalm 144:1-2 “Of David. Blessed be the Lord, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle; he is my steadfast love and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield and he in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples under me.”

Psalm 108:12-13 “Oh grant us help against the foe, for vain is the salvation of man! With God we shall do valiantly; it is he who will tread down our foes.”

John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

 

Barry

01Nov/18

learn

learn – gain or acquire knowledge of or skill in (something) by study, experience, or being taught

Have you ever taken a moment calculating the amount of energy and effort we learn things each day? By nature, we are learners. Simple fact, we learn and grow, or we remain ignorant (lack of knowledge) of what is happening around us, in our lives, the lives of our friends, family, in our vocations and culture.

One of my favorite life-calibration statements is one recorded in New Testament lit. The book of Matthew, 6:21. “For where your treasure is, there your heart will also be.” Where my heart is, dictates my interests. My interests dictate what I learn about, participate in mentally and have the drive to learn about. So, what I’m driven to pursue is what I learn about. These are the things that I value most.

What are you learning? 

How are you learning? 

Are you a knowledge seeker?

Has previous knowledge gained made you a better man? 

The things we learn as men make and mold us or not. Men, we are products in most part of what we have learned and how we have applied the knowledge to our lives. Great men are students replacing what we may think we know with what we are sure of, proven true wisdom. Read. Watch. Listen. Record and build. 

#Purpose #Identity #Sonship 

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31Oct/18

thinking

thinking – the process of using one’s mind to consider or reason about something

Thinking is a discipline and a fine art altogether. Too many of us have learned to think quickly or “on our feet.” More of the decisions than not, that men must make need processing. Assessing, analyzing, distilling, and clarifying. Thinking is the roadway to the best ideas that need forming for the creation of pathways to the future.

The Hebrews (Biblical Literature) understood the mind, will, emotions, and intellect makes up the place where our thoughts are formed and merge from. They considered this the heart the place where God dwells. No doubt, to think about a thing can be complicated for a man. Lots of pieces and elements, thousands to be exact, flow through a fellows heart each day. That is the place where contemplations happen.

Think. When was the last time that you created space in your life and schedule to forecast where you wanted to be in the next one, three, five and ten years with the goals that you have set for yourself?  The mind of a man can create some pretty fantastic concepts for their future and families. The biggest question to consider is what value you would place on the quality and time invested in your thinking? 

Wisdom steps.

  1. Make “think time” for yourself daily and weekly.
  2. Journal, scribble, capture your ideas and concepts.
  3. Keep a digital journal for busy times.
  4. Use your core values for “speedy thinking.”
  5. Integrate Biblical wisdom for “at once thinking.”
  6. Seek out wisdom from wiser, experienced men to clarify and confirm.
  7. Ask God for wisdom.

#Purpose #Identity #Sonship

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30Oct/18

succeed

succeed – achieve the desired aim or result

Men have different drives in their lives. One of the most powerful is to succeed. Fatherless or not, we are creatures driven to succeed. It’s not just a right of passage but a way of life.  So much so, that succeeding becomes a part of our fabric as a person that underpins all pieces of our lives.

The drive to succeed is a double-edged sword. Powerfully effective requiring regular balancing and calibration. Otherwise, we over swing the sword and miss the intended target or under-swing accomplishing the same. Striking our target accurately comes with practice and experience. Missing the mark is inevitable, forgive yourself becoming better at your craft of being a man. That’s where character comes from, missing. Of course, it will happen.

The responsibilities of men vary from the mundane to singularly monumental markers that stall us out or projects further toward our planned result. Simple plans to life plans for ourselves, families

There are two types of men. We have plans or we don’t.

  • How do you plan? 
  • What are your plans? 
  • How will you engineer them? 
  • How will you navigate them? 

Wisdom steps.

The Man With No Plan

  1. Assess where you are at the present time.
  2. Pick three points into the future; immediate, short term, long term. 
  3. Make two lists; one for you and one for your family.
  4. Make the plan, work the plan.

The Man With The Plan

  1. Analyze where you are and refresh your plans.
  2. Recalibrate, reconfigure if necessary adjusting as needed.
  3. Review the game plan re-educating where necessary.
  4. Journey, well brother, making your mark leaving your legacy.

 

#Purpose  #Identity #Sonship

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25Oct/18

Helping Your Kids See The Horizon part (b)

One of the most amazing miracles in the universe is when a child is born. Wellsprings of emotions of every sort come bursting forth. Indescribable. Joy and weeping. Overwhelmed and energized. Shakey knees bumping against each other at light speed while our minds look to the future. Guessing and wondering whether or not we can fit the shoes required to lead this incredible human into the rest of their lives. Teaching the new little person the ways of life, love and legacy all wrapped in “Super Man” fortress arms against your chest?

Before we are able to get ourselves steadied from the birth moment, we are looking into the eyes of a young adult. How did time accelerate past us so very quickly, without warning?

Everyone has an answer or a game plan. Collecting the winning combination equals the ability to drive your vehicle through the eye of a sewing needle.  Looking back, two elements are sure and true.  Horizons and the Creator of every one. The Maker of a thing knows well the intricacies of the thing made. For me, Jesus Christ created the horizon, the ones in nature from beginning to end of history. And he is the One who designs each horizon, of all the days of my life.  So, He’s the two in one for me.

Horizons that our children see are the ones we lead them to. They are the ones we show them the beauty of, showing them the way, teaching navigational skills to travel well.  In their unique, very sophisticated design, hunger exists. It is “father hunger” requiring of you, father, your leadership, love, and experienced guidance. With narrow margins.

Horizon Elements of Your Children

  • Foreground. The front piece of the picture. It is the first signpost they see. Right now. It’s the initiation to each season or stage they must pass through early on. Where the nuts and bolts of starting out as a member of your tribe. Legacy seeds are sown here. First margins are established, individual disciplines are established, learned and reinforced. Our children learn what the track is and how to stay on it.
  • Midground. Between the signpost in front of them and the mountains in the distance. It’s Tomorrow. Just beyond today. Right now is foundational for tomorrow. What fathers do right now, today enhances tomorrow. Core beliefs, spirituality, concepts and character are formed early making a foundation for maturity, strength, wisdom, and understanding. Where to go in life, why to go there and how to do so.
  • Background. Immediate future. These are the mountains. The Divide between immediate future and distant future.  Mountains always tend to present dangerous, steep faces to climb, valleys to travel, and pastures to replenish. Each requiring fatherly guidance and wisdom, insight, understanding and experience. This is the place where dad’s leadership is tested, and your son or daughter proves how well they were instructed and trained. It’s where fathers see their children’s learning and execution of what was taught them.
  • Beyond the mountains. Distant future. The peak of the mountain is what every mountain climber seeks. It is where the distant future can be seen by you and your children. Peaks are launching points. Where your children look back to their beginning, look at you moving forward to the unknown with a map that is well designed reproducing what and who you led them into becoming, carrying your legacy forward, repeating in their children what you groomed yours to be.

 

#Purpose  #Identity  #Sonship 

 

 

22Oct/18

Mining Out The Good Father In You

By nature, good fathers have “dad” obligations. Ones that are honorable and noble. Commitments that good fathers live for. Fruit-bearing, life-determining, history-making, obligations. Really, these are privileges, that only dads reap the benefits. Perhaps you doubt yourself being a good father?

Good fathers stumble and fall, and they recover, dust themselves off and continue. They love deeply, work hard, use their time, talent and treasures wisely, and they look to the future reading themselves for life’s seasons. They also are intentional about growing deeper and broader in fatherhood and family.

The demands of being a good father have mandatory prerequisites. We, good fathers, are prophets, priests, and kings. (fatherseekers.com/fearless-ferocious-wearyThat is, we are the guides, we are truth speakers, and we shepherd with wisdom, guiding, reveling and protecting. The charge that comes with leading a family makes us miners.

Mining is hard and dangerous work. The yield is profitable though. Most great treasure is buried deep. Once below the surface, surprises await each of us. Different for each man. Most certainly, unplanned work and resources are required to resolve them. Here’s the question that we each must answer, ‘will we invest time, treasure and effort to resolve and move forward to the greater prize that awaits us all?’  That’s the life-changer decision.

Every surprise under the surface yields a treasure. These jewels are revelations of who we really are in the core of ourselves. There are no shortcuts for subterranean jewels in the rough in a man’s life. Correctly addressed well-engineered resolutions prevent cave-ins. Those things slow the growing process in each of our lives. Crucial stuff here boys. Who we are as men transfer to our families. We impart our weaknesses and strengths from our father’s effect on us.

Some of the treasures we find underneath our surface are beautiful surprises. Things that perhaps we were unaware of or need another more experienced miner to help us identify, evaluate and figure how best to invest this new treasure. These are there too. They are the biggest and most beautiful life-changers for us as well.

There is greatness in you my friend. Never doubt that. You must mine. Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

Every man was created to have a man-tribe, a brotherhood that we each do life with together. Brothers walk together, live, love and cry together and without doubt, battle together when every need arises. #neveralone  #togetherforward

Find The Greatness Within 

  1. Don’t mine alone. There is always safety in numbers. Mining reveals what’s under the surface of our lives. There is still danger underneath the surface of our lives. The protection of accountability protects each of us from cave-ins. You were created for greatness. Greatness requires a man-tribe, a brotherhood to prevail.
  2. Greatness is under the rough. Newly discovered treasures no matter how beautiful always need refining. The most significant value of a gem will still be best seen once a jewel is appropriately clean and polished. Once we find in us the beautiful things, refining is required. Don’t withhold what you’ve mined from your life and soul. Treasures, talents, gifts, and abilities that are in the rough.
  3. Address the 4-I’s. Insecurity, inferiority, intimidation, inadequacy will be unearthed in your mining process. Each alone infects and corrupts a good man’s future lessening his legacy. Altogether, a toxic mix for fatherless fathers.  *insecurity – fearing loss of what you may or may not possess *inferiority – feeling lower in status or quality than another; the comparison game *intimidation – the feeling of being frightened or overawed by another for the purpose of control *inadequacy – quality or quantity required; insufficient for the use.
  4. Stop it, now! The 4-I’s have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Not only have I been crippled by them, but they each also crippled my future and destiny in some form or another. There are two things that I have learned in my battle and defeat of each. a) Within myself, there is no power to defeat them. My final turn was to Jesus Christ for victory. Through and by Him, I overcome each day. b) The issue is personal identity. A man’s identity is based on who he is, where and who he comes from and how he has lived out who he understands and believes that he is. A new identity was required for me, it’s in Jesus Christ alone.
  5. Dig deep. Going deeper and exploring who we are under the surface of our lives.  Explore, learn and become the man you are designed to be. This is what you are created for, and this is where your legacy begins.

#Purpose #Identity #Sonship 

#neveralone #togetherforward

 

 

18Oct/18

Helping Your Kids See The Horizon part (a)

This past Sunday, my pastor Chad Pullins, quoted a friend of his who recently celebrated his father’s life and legacy after his passing; “My father didn’t just leave me with memories; he left me with a legacy as well.”

My life’s work allows me to speak with fathers and sons form every walk of life and cross-section of cultures. Here’s one of the top three or four statements fatherless fathers and fatherless sons make during my exchange with them. “I wished that we had made more good memories together.” Memories, both good and bad, linger in hearts and minds most of the time, for the rest of our lives. They are markers of events that generally made a significant impact on us all. Memories are a must, good ones, that help us remember life, love, goodness, and satisfaction in knowing we were loved.

Not slamming memories because they are the recorded historical artifacts of the life experiences of the ones we hold dear and love most. Good memories fill large portions of our hearts and souls. Memories are only one side of the coin though. The other side of the coin is legacy.

Legacy is something endowed or conveyed to another. Focusing on the future of our children and how they will live out their lives, what do we build into to them at early ages? What are the core values they will choose to live by, the type of character they will exhibit, where and how will they learn to nurture their spiritual lives? How will they carry on the family name? What did we impart to them through teaching, training building a healthy son or daughter replicating the “legacy” we transferred to them? All the above is by default or by intent.

Keeping an eye on your horizon, understanding who you are, what you’re design is, what you’re destined for, the one thing you’re wired to do in life. Where you go, you lead your family. Where are you leading your wife and children? Your leadership bears significantly upon their future and destiny. Most importantly, you are an ancestor in the line of your descendants and the influence you bring to bear on them by your life. What path are you leaving for them to follow?

Fathers have so many responsibilities that rest upon their shoulders that many times we can get distracted and detoured in leading well. There are three words that I am building into principle in living out my day today. Simple, minimal, pure.

Leading Family With Clarity

  1. Simple. Innocent, modest, and free from complication. Reducing the ability and opportunity for distraction, disruption, and detour to ditch the pathway we are pioneering for our family to follow. Marking a pioneered path to the horizon of your life helps your family navigate their lives well.
  2. Minimal. “of a minimum amount, quantity, or degree; negligible.” Being minimal is the reduction of additional opportunities for non-essential decisions that will derail or ditch the ones that you lead. It’s the process of reducing the infractions of core values, deviation from character traits exhibited and taught, and the nurturing of spiritual life.
  3. Pure. “not mixed or adulterated with any other substance or material.” It is the insurance of not mixing with the base family concepts and traditions, the opinions of people, culture, or popular belief of the community with the heart of what you and your wife have established for your family’s heritage.

For more about Chad: chadpullins.com

#Purpose #Identity #Sonship

#clearvision #impart #transfer

13Sep/18

When Storms Come

In a handful of hours, the affects of Hurricane Florence (pictured above) will come, uninvited, into my city. Many warnings were issued about her coming, what she would bring with her, and what she would leave behind after her visit. Yet, nothing will be known until she has passed and her remnants remain.

Storms interrupt our lives. Most storms come with some sort of indicator with only a few being a surprise that creeps up and creates unforeseen problems. In either case, we must weather storms, tossed and turned, and all that can be shaken will be shaken. Knowing then full well what we must do, and how we must proceed.

In spite of the ominous power of a storm, beauty exists. Although storms brings disaster and destruction, and sometimes death, life eventually emerges. Through it all, we rise, live on and live well, better again for another storm.

“Though we may bow low where no space exist beneath us, or we burrow in to our dwelling’s most storm-worthy, sturdy compartment, we emerge victors. To repair and build, to hope and heal, to begin again, we grow.”

10 Things Florence Reminded Me About Storms

  1. Fear, anxiousness, doubt and worry must not abide. 
  2. Storms bring hurt, leave damage, and then life.
  3. There is a beginning and an end to storms.
  4. Wisdom never fails to win.
  5. Readiness is revealed. 
  6. Character is tested.
  7. Ask how not why.  
  8. Navigate not control. 
  9. Captains fail not. 
  10. God’s in charge, not in control. 

#navigate   #stormstrong   #fearless

#Purpose  #Identity   #Sonship

13Sep/18

Fearless, Ferocious, Weary

Being a dad is the most exciting, challenging, disappointing, frustrating and rewarding job a man could ever do. For most of us, that privilege is what we really live and breathe for. In striving to be the best we can move from amateur to pro. That’s the goal.

In all that, even the bravest and most courageous dads know that we just get weary. Responsibilities of husband, father, provider, and protector (prophet, priest, king) require. Great dads have a spirit about them. That spirit is one of never quitting until the job is completed. Most dads feel a little guilt because that didn’t meet expectations of themselves or their family. We usually self-impose guilt and pressure to fulfill real or imagined expectations. Mental pressure and physical pressure causes a significant drain on a man’s body.

Even the greatest of dads get tired. For most of us though, we thrive on being “dad tired.” It’s is the very best kind of tired. When a dad invests his life in his family as the most prized possession, then he most certainly will be exhausted.

Tired is healthy, weary is not.

When Tired Turns Weary

Running the battery down is healthy in more ways than one. A proper recharge keeps the battery robust, functional and useful.

When improper recharge occurs, and tiredness turns to weariness then problems begin to surface increasing minor to very major. Minor like disrupting family to creating havoc like making really bad decisions. Weariness is one of the breeding grounds that we dads battle that include pitfalls, distractions, and snares. None of these things have to be true. All men have onboard alarms that warn against system failure.

Listening To Your Warning Signs

Each man is wired differently than the other. Tolerances may be different yet we still all have warning systems, gauges to fly by, rhythms of recharge and replenishment. Continuing to “dad life” without refreshing will take us to the place of eventually destroying our system. ‘Danger, Will Rogers.’

What are your signs of being tired? What are your indicators of being weary? How do you recharge and replenish? Are you aware of your personal tolerances? Who holds you accountable to your core values?

What Weariness Does Men

Simple is easily remembered. Straight away. Weariness will drain our souls (mind, heart, emotions, intellect) to the degree that system failure initiates. Natural guards drop causing mental errors. Simple tasks become difficult. Voids usually satisfied by recharge and replenishment seek other things that when rested, would not be found. Core value boundaries are blurred or ignored. Moral missteps are considered, entertained or violated. And for some of us, depression or high-risk behavior becomes exciting. ‘Danger, Will Rogers.’

5 Ways To Recognize Weariness

1. Finding yourself exhausted often. On occasion, we can push beyond our personal limits to exhaustion. Being tired is the reset signal to replenish and recharge. Weariness leads to exhaustion. Living exhausted steals hope and joy taking the best of who we are living day by day with an empty tank. Emotions raw, numb to the bone. Stop bruh.
2. Inordinate amounts of rest to acquire recharge. Once rest is lost, it can never be regained. Each day brings its own challenges that will require adequate replenishment and recharge.
3. Crashing instead of resting. Push, push, push till we crash may be what many of us practice. Crashing is not resting. Regular rhythms of replenishment and recharge must be second nature when living the dad life.
4. “Dad life” joy is lost. There is a particular joy in being a dad. It motivates and replenishes simultaneously. When the joy of being a father is lost, we begin to unravel at the core of our being.
5. Your family asks “What’s wrong”? There are always times when we may not be all together ourselves. It’s not a way of life. In fact, the quicker we get a handle on replenishment and recharge the better we can be a full-on dad when we need to, and that’s probably all the time. There has to be a reserve tank strictly for getting us to the place of rest.

#replenish  #recharge  #dadlife

#Purpose  #Identity  #Sonship